Girls, Girls and Girls (Revised addition)

2004-02-10 8:16 p.m.

Today, we examine a snippet of conversation that took place on the fifth of January:

CH: Oh, but I‘ve got many pictures with all the girls in my class with my hands around them

Me: *feet stomping”* that’s so unfair!

CH: And I got pictures of other girls.

As you would have read in my previous entry, that guy has a picture of him and Liqing on his desktop. That is possible because he went up to her nicely and asked whether he could have a picture with her—this was during Prom. And where was I? Either concentrating on my food or taking pictures for other people.

Ok, the above does not imply I’m girl crazy or anything like that. So that boy has pictures of girls. Good for him, not so positive for me. Sow he won’t pass me any of the pictures despite me dropping the idea of trade. Never mind, it’s not all that important.

They say people who spent their secondary school life in single sex schools don’t differ much from those from mixed schools. Everything will automatically snap in place in JC, boys will understand girls, girls will understand girls and relationships may develop. I’ve seen much of the later occur, many of my old friends are quite happy with their newly found partners—mostly found in NJC. In my case, it’s quite different. It could be because of the girls in my class, it could because of my focus on my studies or it could just be my attitude. What ever it is, I never knew how to approach girls very well, even after two years with them. Even with 02A04, something was always awkward when I talked to them. Eventually, conversations were limited to that about school work. In year two, it was on a need to ask basis, meaning I only talked to them when I had to. In debate, the seniors were mainly girls, but I could associate with them because we were talking about the same issues. Outings were mainly with Wee Jian, Joseph, Zhilin, Chi Hoong and Chih Hung. Biyou always declined as she wanted to have time with her boyfriend. So it was really a boy dominated time in debate. In year two, the juniors were talented but friendly enough and there were hardly any quarrels with those ladies.

So I could associate with girls and yes I did have female friends. It just depended what they thought of me. Their views were independent some of the time, but for my class, it was a fix view due to someone. As for the rest of the Arts faculty, well, there were some who liked me, while others decided to play it neutral. I could never decipher the reason. Was it as Amandae said that I was not articulate enough? Was it my actions?

Yesterday and today, I got to know the AS 1(Assistant Manpower Officer) and my Operations Specialist better. During the interview, the AS 1 asked whether I had a girlfriend. (The SAF has this constant worry over relationships and hence this question—which I was asked before in BMT). No I replied, confidently, although that stirred up something in my mind. Then, while cleaning up, 3SG Paul Lie, my ops specialist, asked me that same question. He had this disbelieving look on his face and said some like come on, NJ girls are suppose to be pretty. They are, I replied, but most are from other classes. Then, today, having not much to do, I showed both of them www.uberture.com, the site which Chih Hung introduced me to. It has well, pictures of people around my age. They were also questioning me about my friends and whether they would be entering NUS this year. Don’t worry; I didn’t reveal names or contacts.

I don’t need a girlfriend right now. However, I need more friends of the opposite sex and more outings with such people. Debbie did go out with me, but that was only for a small lunch with Chih Hung tagging along. I need to understand girls better and learn what needs to approach them. Talking to Amandae was a step forward. It’s a long long road for me……

Invisible Clay Aiken

What are you doing tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Still in your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus ]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait…I already am)

Saw your face in the crowd
I called out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could be what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

[Chorus ]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm screaming

Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...

[ Repeat Chorus ]

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