Cold and barren

2004-06-13 9:38 p.m.

”So, if an old friend I know drops by to say hello…”

---Elvis Presley’s Suspcious Minds

Ok, no I didn’t see suspicion in someone else’s eyes. On the contrary, it was me who slapped the old friend on the back and greeted him in a very unfriendly way. So that was an inappropriate greeting I administered on Luke Indran—sue me. However, that was due to the months of exposure to NS talk. I’m actually more refined than that, but exceptions do happen.

So, yes it was the first time Luke appeared since the end of the A levels. Yup, he was MIA during prom, or so I surmised and for one who does not have a handphone, well he becomes instantly untraceable. Sounds so much like an NSman. Anyway, so we banged into each other at 1615 or so on a steaming Saturday afternoon six days after the D-Day commemorations. Of course, we exchanged proper greetings and went our separate ways to collect our certificates. Now, if the A level results atmosphere was that of a dull one, this was no better. Familiar faces were scattered everywhere, some which I wanted to see while others brought back evil memories. Lined up behind a person who shall not be described or named over here. After a long wait, and yes it was a long wait, my certificate was in my hands and within half a minute the dull looking College Annual was too. Standing by the stage, the silence was broken by” Hey man, why is one of your socks longer than the other?” The only person who would ever bother to say that would be Lucas Neo. CPL Neo, I reminded myself, as we shook hands. The conversation took around two minutes, and it was all about my rushing here and there. Well, it was actually an exaggeration but that’s typical me. Lucas rejoined the rest, meaning Bert, Wee Jian, Yong Jian and Philip. Oh yes, the sweet memories of the Arts Faculty’s most bubbling class.

Luke and I found each other gain and the present was brought up. He’s now at Ayer Rajah camp as a technician. That’s terribly insulting for a person for someone your caliber I said. He readily agreed. Such is the ways of the hand of MINDEF. There was actually a third person in our conversation, probably one of Luke’s classmates. Because of her, the conversation drifted to that of University and University applications. Incidentally, she’s planning to pursue a degree in accountancy in Singapore. Couldn’t remember which University. Inevitably, the moaning of two more years in the country’s green uniform came up, and that girl laughed.

We moved off as she bid farewell, and it was just the two of us. We seemed liked the only pair over there, for all the others were in groups of two or threes. Sherry came in a light yellow sleeveless shirt and joined the A01 bunch, which included Marianne and a few others. Luke’s classmates floated around with you know who, and Jiing Shyuan shifted from person to person. Moving towards another corner of the hall, Amandae and Debbie made their entrance, heading straight for the their class group. Now, nothing so peculiar about that, except that they were dress as if they were roaming through the streets or at some formal function. I thought this was nothing but a collecting session. Then again, they appearance doesn’t amazed me, especially after all I been through with them. Oh yes, Joseph swapped salaams (greetings) with us and we learned about his unfortunate OOC (out of course) from SISPEC. Accidents do happen, but when they do they just shatter your life, even the smallest ones. So far, only three individuals (ok, maybe four if you include bothered Marianne’s wave/smile), and that was sort of disappointing. Even our tutors weren’t there. Why is it NJ projects this silent, cold and unwelcoming feeling one me every time I stepp on its grounds?

Such questions troubled me as we exited the hall at 1630. When I say 1630 I mean 1630, for the teachers were cuddling the left over materials, ready to go. Wow, first time NJC moved promptly on the dot. Luke and I moved off, watching the crowd disperse as well as teasing each other for the final time. The canteen toilet was our last stop and strangely enough, it smelt and looked fresher that it was back in 2002 and 2003. Maybe it was cleaned up just for us? Yeah right. A minute later, I was at my old spot over looking the track, watching the last of the 2003 cohort tread upon the red track of NJC. In the distance, I could make out the A04 gang. Sigh, I thought, the old laughter and conversations of J1 with that bubbly bunch will never be brought back. I felt as if there was a void, a no man’s land that was surrounding me. Wait, I corrected myself, this is as you said, a time only to collect items. Nothing spectacular at all. However, other schools and other organizations don’t give this feeling of emptiness at all. Strolling down the stairs, Luke commented that he may return to NJ, but only if necessary. For me, well I don’t know.

“Keep holding on” was my diary entry focusing on retaining the old friends and memories if you didn’t feel attached to a school. That’s getting harder and harder each day. I’ve reestablished contact with some school mates at the beginning of this year and even met up with some of them. However, there just seems to be a distance. Perhaps it’s the electronic communication that creates the separation or maybe it’s the caustic comments that seem to arise with some people. On the opposite side, sweet statements and words from people like Debbie cheer you up.

Maybe those days that have gone have gone. Just last Saturday, Harry Potter was waving his magic in front of me and CH. By coincidence, Jacqueline, one of the girls in my church, asked if I was interested in watching that same movie the next day. My aching sore throat and the burning sun made me say no, but looking back, I should have said yes. In fact, I shouldn’t have jumped the gun and watched it on Saturday. After all, that old boy has changed his attitude towards various issues a lot and occasionally I just can’t endure his ravings.

“I’m sure you’ll have close female friends in the future”, Amandae once wrote to me. I disagree, for that should have occurred a few years back. If I may add on, the friends we found should be kept, not just in our electronic mail or messenger list, but kept as in kept through actual contact.

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