Scattered moments

2004-07-16 8:46 p.m.

Wee Jian! Why didn’t you tell me the Junior Colleges Debating Championships were on last Saturday! I would have loved to go down to watch the year ones! And that was my long weekend!

Ahem (quieting down). Naturally I should have suspected that the JCDCs would be on since it was the month of July. Alas, my NS schedule has made me see nothing but green uniforms, bossy comrades and piles of work. As I said before, I shouldn’t complain, but damnit, I missed something that I looked forward too. The feeling is almost as if it was a great loss, this especially since I didn’t go for the Oxford Debates (I think that’s the title) earlier in January.

I’ve mentioned this before, but let me say is again, Debate was my passion in JC, still is now and will continue to be so in the future. It was what kept me alive after enduring dreary lectures, tutorials in the steaming afternoon, the climbing up and down staircases and the last minute tutorial sessions. Debate brought my spirits up when facing all those setbacks and conflicts with other school mates and it propelled me to a different dimension. Yes, I wasn’t exactly the best debater and did mess up some motions at times but then again, not everyone in NJ Debate was a star. That’s the truth if you compare us to the other JC debaters or even some non debaters who had the flair for it. However, one thing I dare say was that I was one of the few non EXCO members to be truly dedicated to the society itself. Yes, I went beyond my actual scope of responsibility and went into areas such as training the juniors, refining small areas of content and delivery of speech and such. I hardly missed any training session if I remember correctly, and even stayed back on certain days when the non EXCO members and even some EXCO members left, just to give feedback on the few debates of the day. I still can recollect the time when I was just asked to pass some issues of The Economist to the team going for the NUS debates and ended up helping them instead even though they refused so politely. My presence would be there, be it a short meeting where a single motion would be debated, a serious session where the debate itself would be thoroughly analysed from top to bottom, a meeting whereby members would selected for the upcoming competition or even just a session which ended up in card games between the famous four. My input would be small at certain times, especially when filled with exhaustion or when I didn’t actually have a liken for the motion, but other times I would be throwing in opinions and be thoroughly engaged in it so much that even when the meeting ended, a multitude of thoughts would swirl about my head, with me trying to find a definite conclusion to the day’s topics.

Debate was mentally draining alright, but I was one of the few who saw it as enriching and enlightening. My case was slightly different form the rest, for I had to face a cold (not just air condition cold) environment everyday, with little greetings and smiles. Class activity would amount to gossip, irrelevant gossip with respect to the lesson or jokes that were so lame that I would slam my head on the table the minute they popped up. Teachers were the ones who brought me through each day each with their unique style of teaching but Debate lifted my spirits and enlightened me each step of the way. Each Wednesday or Saturday would be the time when I entered a new dimension, a world filled with not only facts on a higher spectrum, ideas that were beyond normal everyday thought but a class of refined qualities expected of ladies and gentlemen. Debate wasn’t at all trying to wear down the other side with all the counter arguments but trying to shape the picture in a certain direction. It was this shaping that was the joy in debate, and even at times we used it on not motion related topics. Speaking of them, it was through all these lighthearted conversations that camaraderie came about. Teasing each other about each other’s supposed girlfriend, or picking out each other’s unique feature or even commenting constructively (now that is partially true) on our teacher’s instructions were the balance to the nerve wracking preparations. In the end, an even closer friendship was formed between number one, two, three and six (only the members would know what I’m talking about), and it wasn’t just the act of killing with your mouth that brought them together, but rather balls and a stick (hey, this is an actual line from another friend of one of the debaters.)

So everyone has scattered and the debate spirit is only strong in some of us. Now, coming to my point, is it only “high class”, intellectual activities where the people seem to be on a different level form the ordinary masses? That is an unfounded statement. Even if you bring in the similarities between them and Small Group Thirteen, there is hardly any concrete evidence. As I said before, it’s the individuals who shape the organization or the society. I could have joined a sports CCA where I would be the weaker one, but if the others are understanding, they could motivate me so much that I could be on the same par as them as time went by. On the contrary, its individuals who show sour looking faces, dress and look opposite to that of a normal female or male and back stab you that create rifts amongst a group. It’s those who create illogical nicknames and converse about the negative aspects of others that create fractures in the group or class and project an unwelcoming environment. I make no distinctions over people based on their background at all and have seen all walks of life. In fact, this was one of the key factors that brought me through my scouting career and propelling me to the leadership position that I received in the scouting movement. The idea of the group comes secondary to those that are in it in my view.

So yes, back to a lighter note and a sadder one. Debate and even scouts are things of the past, but they burn as strong as events in the present in my mind. The one we can do is hold on to things we can hold on to, and move on with the knowledge that those were the days that never fade just with the shifting of the sun and the stars. We also finally acknowledge that it continues on, with the present falling as we speak. Speaking of this, Matthew Harkness is now in the country they christen as “Middle Earth” pursuing his studies and leaving an empty space that will be filled soon in SG 13. While another can replace a loss, the laughter, the joy and the pain shared over the few months of knowing this wonderful person is almost impossible to replace. What more is that I missed his farewell on the 4th of July as commitments elsewhere tied me down.

I’ve been pulling out my old notes and files from my two years in NJ and in between them popped out a few black books. “Black” was the colour reserved for my debate notes and motions, not because it represented anything sinister, but because it brought about the feeling of completeness and the shifting into another world. In one of the pages was the letters “MCPREPS”. I wrecked my brain for a while before remembering what each letter stood for—Moral, Cultural, Physical, Religious, Economic, Physical and Social, the key areas an argument in Debate (or even GP) would consist of. Those first words were uttered by or senior Anchit Sood and it proved useful for many who took entered the world where “words can kill”. Those were the days indeed. Can’t they just stay forever?

On a side note, you’ll probably notice that my other diary, the one reflecting my NJC life from start to finish hasn’t seen any updates. Well, that’s simply because time has not been on my side for quite a while and it takes a massive amount of recollection to create on entry. Don’t worry, it won’t be abandoned.

Secondly, the guestbook has seen some new activity, albeit from not the constructive comments I expected. Ah well, hope my readers do keep it alive.

The last note relates to my opening of this diary after it being locked for a long period. As you know I do support freedom of speech, but when others just can’t break their childish habit of sneaking in, stealing lines off my entries and insulting my friends really get on my nerves. Sure, I’ve said that online diaries can enlighten and kill and there’s no one stopping you from doing either. But one day, you’ll face judgment. That’s for sure.

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